i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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