Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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