Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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