i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
