It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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