I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
