And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize