He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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