they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
