party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
