I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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