i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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