Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
