lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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