Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
