i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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