yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
