Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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