were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
