yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
