It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
