do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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