dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize