she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
vagina is talking i cant
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize