He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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