Pappa wants mamma naked
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Randomize
