Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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