Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
