We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Randomize
