while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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