forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
