So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
