I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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