it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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