I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
