On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
