I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
