I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
