I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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