No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
