You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
