SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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