I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
