I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
