i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
