just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
