Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
