16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i dont even know how to be here
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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