new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
