Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
