Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
