I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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