smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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