Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
