I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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