I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
