I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
