Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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