Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
