Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize