I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
