Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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