if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
babies were throwing up all over the place
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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