fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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